This Venus in Retrograde coupled with the Full Moon in Aquarius has been a doozy. And if you aren’t feeling it, good for you. But here’s the deal, we ALL are experiencing relationship stuff; whether or not we are awake to it is a whole other story.

Because the reality is this Full Moon and Venus Dance, are asking us to drop it all and be the best we can be. It’s asking us to rejuvenate and bring to light all of our shadows because in the shadow the pearl lives, and is waiting to be discovered. It’s asking us to love it all and be free from what drags us down once and for all.

Beyond that, the truth is that we are all ascending to a higher vibration of love and we can’t carry anything heavy or dense. We just can’t! So we can either keep trying to carry it, shove it under the rug, point the finger out at someone else, or we can own it and deal with it and look it square in the eye because the time is now to love it and move on.

Because here is the deal:

Relationships are can be defined as:

To others

1. To ourselves
2. To money
3. To social media
4. To food
5. To alcohol
6. To fame and fortune
7. To spirituality
8. To work

Name it … how you “relate” in the world to ANYTHING, is a relationship.

Let me ask you, how did you relate to the whole dentist who killed Cecil? Yeah, I thought so. Or what about the banning of the word Goddess on Instagram? Or how animals are treated? Just a few zingers to remind you that we ALL experience relationship shit every single day.

Originally, I wanted to use prophetic sentences for this blog like:

1. Every relationship is a reflection of yourself.
2. Relationships is why you are here.
3. Relationships come and go.
4. I let go of relationships that no longer serve me.
5. The relationship I have with myself is all I need.
6. Ya da, ya da, ya da… And while I believe all of that, here’s the truth:

Just over a week ago, I got word from my children that their father had moved in with his girlfriend and to not be surprised when they came to visit. Now, while this is not a blog about my life or my story, I want to tell you something … it brought up some very old shit. Some deeply rooted, relationship shit.

I found myself trying to figure out how I was going to hold space for them while they emotionally vomited on me (that’s part of your job description as a parent by the way) when I got home. You see, they called to give me this news while I was driving home from work and thankfully, I needed to stop at Trader Joe’s which gave me space.

But what happened next surprised the heck out of this strong, warrior mom. I was bagging my groceries and I started to weep. The weeping escalated, and soon, I was crying uncontrollably at the check out line. Poor Trader Joe’s dude, he didn’t see this one coming and neither did I.

The little sniffles turned into uncontrollable sobs once I exited the store. Which turned into wails and rants on the car ride home. I had to pull it together before I got home, but how was I going to pull it together when I had no idea why I was falling apart.

Best advice came from a dear friend. He said, “stop what you are doing, park your car and look in the mirror. Look and tell me what you see.”

1. I saw a five year old who had been neglected by her dad.
2. A teenager who was very troubled and had nowhere to turn.
3. An adult who was scared to leave her marriage.
4. And a sweet soul who loves life and just wants everyone to get along.

And then I saw a really vibrant, kick ass Queen who has surrounded herself with amazingness, power and grace. Someone who has walked a really crazy line of truth, freedom, and love to find herself. I saw a woman who has always been in love with life even when she didn’t know what the hell she was doing.

And most of all, I saw someone who has always known who she is and what she is capable of, regardless of the stories that have colored her life.

Every relationship is a story to guide is. Every story has shaped the path, the relationships we find ourselves in are here to elevate us and that’s not prophetic, it’s the truth.

And here’s the deal…

As relationships come in and out of our lives, we get to dictate just how embedded we are in them and their stories. We get to say if they resonate with us. We have the right to say just how much we are defined by them. And then we can dictate just how much we are willing to put up with, vibrate alongside, or let go of.

And then, most importantly … and I remembered this as I watched the snot drip from my nose, my eyes bulging from my head, and my heart hurting while my gut wrenched from crying in the mirror ….

You are light. You are light. You are Divine light colored by relationships reminding you to BE that. There is only one relationship that can be cultivated, examined and elevated and that is the one you have with yourself.

1. You can never change another or what they do in relationship.
2. You cannot expect anything of anyone besides what they offer up.
3. Breathing in moments of perceived crisis or chaos bring you to a deeper level of understanding of your Self.

Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”  Basically … do you.  Period.

Byron Katie said, “I could find only three kinds of business in this world: Yours, mine, and God’s. Who’s business are you in? Be in no-one else’s but your own.”

That is where the truth in relationship lies. That’s all I got.

By Dana Damara

“My passion on the mat is proper alignment, powerful breath and effortless flow so you feel that off your mat. Your practice becomes sacred space where you arrive to find more meaning, depth, authenticity and integrity in your life."

- Dana Damara: mother, author, yoga instructor, speaker and yogini.

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