“So how do I become a drama-free person you ask?”
Well first, you have to understand what drama is. If you are overreacting, getting agitated at everything and talking about it way too much then and you’re caught in the drama zone. If people around you are doing the same and you happen to be on the other end, listening, having to intervene and even participating actively, you have also made it to the drama zone. And generally speaking you feel yourself getting tense, anxious, bothered and resentful? Only to realize that the whole situation is pointless and could have easily been avoided?? That’s drama right there.
Drama can be caused by ourselves directly or by people we choose to let into our lives.
And now ask yourself: Are you going to fuel that surge of drama, or are you going to let it plummet onto its death bed?
if you choose the second, or at lest know deep inside yourself that it was the right answer, you are ready for this blog post.
Here are some basic tips on how to live a drama free life, rather filled with quality time, solid people, self worth, peace of mind and zen-like sleep.
1. Don’t gossip
For as much as discussing other people’s lives can be gratifying in the short term, you know you always feel crappy after you said it. And it didn’t do any good. Actually you might have just spread a rumor. And it’s going to be twisted, taken out of context, and before you know it you’re talking sh** about someone you actually consider a friend.
Instead, when you hold back the “Oh my gosh you know what so-and-so did???!!” you are going to feel so much better about yourself, so much more mature and yes, even superior, because you are not lowering yourself to the standards of someone who needs to talk about others to enrich their own lives.
2. Don’t make it a big deal
It’s the half-empty or half full glass attitude. It you tell yourself it’s not a big deal, it won’t be. But if you make a big fuss, then I guarantee you it will be. For example, today you got a parking ticket. Yes, it could potentially be enough to put you in a bad mood and start an avalanche of negative self-predicament. Which in turn will give you license to say you had “a bad day” and lick your wounds in sorrow at home. Instead, just say, “It’s not a big deal, it’s only a parking ticket” and pay it right away (or contest it 😉 and move on, drama free. After all, it could have been worse! Remember: you have the power to DECIDE that that parking ticket isn’t ruining your day. You just won’t let it, because it’s mind over matter situation.
3. Be reliable
As far as I’ve known, reliability never causes drama. Flakiness on the other hand does because it’s direspecuful and causes misunderstandings. There’s nothing more annoying than the person who can never commit to making plans. (Many of those in California by the way) “Let’s play it by ear. I might see you there, but not sure yet, let’s talk as that date gets closer and see how we feel, let’s go with the flow”
What flow? I’m busy, so are you, and unless we actually make plans we’re never going to get together, and I will eventually stop making time for you. So commit, be bold once in a while and pencil me into your calendar please. The friend who is never available to hang out except for when it’s convenient for them is lousy, so you owe it to yourself to get that person out of your life STAT.
Keep in mind that friendship is based on mutual efforts which include values such as reliability. If someone can’t be reliable enough to make time for you and stick to the plans then they are not your friend but are bound to bring a whole lot of drama.
4. Tell it like it is
When you are faking it, everyone knows it. And eventually someone is going to call you out on it and it’s going to lead to a whole lot of drama. Don’t pretend you like my dress if you don’t. Just be smart and don’t say anything, or work up a little personality to say it in funny way that will make me not care. If something bothers you, say something right away. I know it’s hard, but the longer you wait, the more complicated it will become. And when issues aren’t discussed resentment builds and someone will blow up. So talk it out. Say it with a smile if you can. Do it kindly. You will feel so much lighter afterwards.
5. Avoid drama people
And lastly, you could be sitting here reading this post and thinking: ”I’m good, I don’t do any of this stuff! I am a totally drama free person! But but… there is such a thing as not being drama yourself but making the fatal mistake of letting drama people into your life. (Been there, done that) Which, you guessed it, causes more unnecessary drama.
You know that friend of yours who is permanently jobless, still crying over her ex who treated her like shit, and emotionally unstable, somewhat mysterious about parts of her life, but at the time kind of needy? She screams drama! And guess what? Drama attracts more drama. So you will invevitably be dragged into it. Because some people thrive in drama. But you hopefully don’t.
So stay away. Don’t let them crash at your house. Don’t lend them stuff with the assumption that one day they will return the favor. Don’t listen to them for hours on the phone late at night while you should be going to sleep instead. Don’t even bother. Some people just don’t get it, will never fully appreciate it and one day, when you need something from them, they won’t show up for the occasion. Because if they were sensible people in the first place they would know better than rely on someone else so heavily.
It’s always better to be alone and drama free than to hang around a bunch of drama queens.
By: Valentina Rose
Born and raised in Italy, Valentina is a full time yoga instructor who divides her time between Marin County, California and Matapalo, Costa Rica. When she isn’t hosting yoga retreats or blogging Valentina can be found trail running and baking quiche.